TIPSY YM TODAY 12 NOV 2024

He came back at around 5.30 pm. Making funny noises. Talking a lot of shit, as usual. Loud and screaming away, calling whatever he wants. He ate the chwee kueh I bought for him. Came to the room and asked whether I have eaten, want to eat? I was busy doing some documents sorting and data keying on my Laptop. He on the fans and sleep at the sofa chair, opened his wide legs. I made a small cup of ACV for him to drinks. After few coaching, he drank after eating some crackers. He kept screaming loudly, calling names, talking nonsense, insulting me of my mactactomy. This has irritated me so much that I taped his speech and I told him, if that's the way he wants to love himself by drinking, carry on. If he got stroke or whatever illness, I will not see him at hospital. He passed on, I will not see him, his son will take care of his cremation immediately, no funeral wake. I was so fed up that I told him that loving himself means keep drinking to destroy his brain cells, never take medicines regularly, scolding and shouting after drinks, screaming, calling names of peoples, insulting me always of my BR surgery.... doing what he like and loving himself in what he does. He has poked me so much that I do not feel pain but give him up. I prayed that God will handle him. I do not want to have anything to do with him when his sickness surfaced as a result of his drinking and not valuing his life. He has all rights to do what he wishes. No intention to improve his well being. No initiative or lost his initiatives now to do anything. Forget days, forget medical appointments. He is due for his misconduct and evil talks from his mouth. He seems happy singing all the insults of me. I did not bother. I told him if he continue drinking, Genting Trip he can forget it. He does not care for himself. I cannot control or handle his misbehavior. He enjoy it daily, no direction at this age. I told him to stay out if he drinks heavily. Do not shame in this generation but he did. Never shame SK generation. Setting very bad example. His parents already being hurt so much by him, being rude and demanding, I am sure they have so much difficulting handling him. He was arrogant and rude to them. They need not say to me. I can see it. He has not repaid them for all the things they did to him. He was a hard nut to crack in this teenage days. They must be very happy that he stayed out of their house and get married. I MUST BE nuts to marry him when he was 24. I know I made the mistake of marrying a liar, that he believed in God which he did not. He even go through counselling with me with Pastor Tang. We are not married in Church. How silly I was! I was at that time trying to get out of house??? Did I? I stayed in 2 rooms house, where all sisters in one room - LC, AC and SC. Crazy! I could not recall what SC said to me that cheesed me off during that time in 1986!? Cannot remembered. My life was not in good shape, working very hard at Asia Motor Pte Ltd at Macpherson Road. I was in late 20s. I must not go back to think of the younger days of my life. Right now at 65+, I thank God for seeing me through all these years. Please handle YM and let me have a good last days of my life on this earth. Though nothing now that keep me, I still would like to request Lord for years to live to do what I desire all this while. I ask that YM will not make my life so miserable. I want to do volunteer work and help peoples I can help offer my assistance and not one who refuse to change and make a better life to live. God, open my eyes to see avenues you have for me. Let me be a blessing to others which I can help. Provide me strength, energy, drive, boldness, good wisdom to handles all issues. Help me to clear all negative thoughts in me, left me go towards positive aspects of life and have peace to sleep daily. Nothing can attack me without your approval and I thank you for your protection.

9 pm he came back with. Papaya for $3. I passed 2 to Ping. Look ok, never drink again.