COMPLAINT TO GOD

Went JB KSL with Sharon and YM. 

As usual YM will speak on his own at meals we had. We ate at a kopitiam outside KSL.  

God, I never be happy when I am out with him as he speaks on his own, in his own world, scream, loud, rude, chatting and making funny noises. 

Today, after lunch, he did not follow us to Lotus Supermarket. He wanted to go back. I told him the way but he speak on his own, never listen. He lost directions completely. Previously he was a good navigator,  Now, he lost all his skills.

How he come back? I saw his records at Life360, he cleared at Woodlands custom, took 960 to Woodlands instead of going Kranji. 2.42 to 3.17 pm at Woodlands crossing. 

He Reached Singapore 4.30 pm - 6.15 pm, showed at Lor 25A Geylang. 6.30 pm he must have taken a bus to North Bridge Road. After several calls to him, he answered. I asked whether he is drinking. He said Yes, how I know.  I hated to know he is out drinking. Thinking today, he followed me to JB, he get tired, get back to sleep. Instead he went drinking after losing his way home, do not know the directions to home.  Get lost in Woodlands, came back later than me. Just back 8.32 pm.

God, what should I do?  Why I need to handle him at this age of 61. He did not turn to be better but worst. He lost skills, health deteriorating, failed to take medications as he drink, no medications. 

God, you understand my position now. I wanted to enjoy my last stage of life. I thank you for taking care of me till no at 65.  I want to enjoy each moments I have.

Why can't he behave well? Be wiser at age of 61.  He never been good to himself, drinking a lot when working 10 over years in China. He damaged his own health. He stabbed anyone of his staff who go against him when in Jin Take. He told me once. He never be a good superior to his staff who did not support him. 

He treated his staff better than me even in Singapore. He worked very hard for his position. He never loved himself, take care of himself. He created troubles for the family. He cared for himself only, own affairs. Too proud and arrogant in his social life. End up, no good buddies. He has nothing to socialize, only work, work, work!!!! Talking nonsense was his cup of tea during working, he came back from China with bad manners, arrogant attitude, poor health. 

I have enough of him.  Please help me handle him. He has no God, that's why he is behaving so odd, dementia? Outbursts?  He lost directions in life after he has no work. He was not treated well in last Changi job that he resigned or got sacked? Only he knows.  Believed he could not cope. Long distance to work caused him to be tired, physically and mentally.  He was a discipline person, loyal employee, persistent in doing his job well. 

Too much of free time after he retires, he failed to plan his retirement activities. Only Drinks, his only dedication to enjoy his life or cover his sorrows?????

I asked for your mercy upon him dear God, open his heart to come back to you and I am sure he will be loyal once he is convinced. Help him to change his behaviour, Let him know he needs to come back to you, if he has believed in you before or he has been lying to me since he knows me. He is a big liar? No calibre? Street smart!  He needs to change for better God, Help him!  

I have no strength, no energy to help him. He is always in his own world. 

His brain is failing. Thanks for keeping him sane at intervals. 

Help him take his medications regularly.  Protect his pairs of legs. His skin, scratches all over. Help him control his food intake. 

I losing patience when he speaks dirty words and vulgarity.  He speaks freely, as he likes, loud when outside, out of a sudden. He lost his mind!!!

Thank God for bringing him back.

Next week 8-10 Oct, we are going to KL as he desires. I am trying to fulfill his wishes before he lost his mind completely, to be in his OWN WORLD.   Dear God, please keep him sane during the whole trip or I cannot bring him overseas anyone as I have no energy to entertain him. 

I need your wisdom to react at each moments we are together especially outside having meals. I need patience, a LOTS to curb my anger when he irrirates me to the maximum. 

Why should I tolerate all his nonsense? I need to live my life. I have worked so many years till 2019.

Thank God for letting me enrolling the activities I desire, I am keeping myself occupied and not get so stress up each time I face him at home daily.  I am satisfied, no complaints. It is him that disturb my existing peaceful life.  Please direct me to settle what is still outstanding before I pass on. Thank you, Lord Jesus for your guidance, Thank you Holy Spirit for your leading, that I may not go wrong route, always back to Jesus, whom I can reply on till my last days. 

I commit my above to you Lord Jesus, help me to survive in each hurdles I have to go through, No giving up as I know, God will provide me strength and wisdom. I will not fail and wasted my life leaving on this earth without glorifying God.  I must serve God in whatever stage of life I am going through.  Be patience, be persistent, be consistent, be wise, be decisive, able to differentiate right and wrong. Keep me going each day, each week, each month, each year, time I have now, let me not disgrace you as your child, dear Heavenly Father,  I must not give up in what I can do, keep improving, keep going, keep changing, keep resolving issues, I need your wisdom. Holy Spirit, guide me each day.  Thank you Lord, In Jesus's name. Amen.